![]() Your "special day" might start well with flowers, gifts, cards, and maybe even breakfast in bed, but it quickly morphs into "business as usual." You spend the rest of the day breaking up sibling fights, preparing kids for the school week, and going to bed early before your own workweek begins." Unfortunately, that idealized vision of Mother's Day rarely bears any resemblance to its reality. It's meant to be a day of respite, a chance to put your feet up and bask in the glow of your family's appreciation and adoration. "Like most holidays, Mother's Day is full of expectations and good intentions. Here’s working mother management guru Jamie Woolf: I think many mothers are tired just reading about the chaos of our lives. I don't think she's doing anyone any favors. It makes me exhausted just to think about this archetype. Is the second shift and the ensuing stress it creates a permamnent fixture of our world? Even as men report more work life conflict, frazzled supermom seems here to stay. Jennifer Garner: “I’m as Frazzled as Any Working Mother” “Working Moms Wish List: More Flexibility Would Make It All Work” ![]() “First National Moms Night Out” (cause mom needs a break) “Busy Working Mother Still Finds Time to Work Out” Who can blame me? Check out these headlines from Mother's Day coverage: Sure enough, when I was about to become a working mother, I summoned the mental image of the "woman with the flying hair" and told myself, sure, I'll be frazzled, but it's how things are. She writes of the stories we tell ourselves, how we craft the narratives of our home lives to suit the self-images we create to maintain peace at home.Īs I read a raft of Mother’s Day stories, I was struck at how, over the past twenty years, our culture has seemed to absorb the second shift as natural for most moms. ![]() The book is moving and sometimes nauseating in its intensity. Hochschild writes of the “stalled revolution,” in which women assume more traditionally male roles as breadwinners and workers, but manage to work on average an extra month a year at home. Every woman Hochschild interviews knows that image, and most of them simply laugh when asked how the icon relates to their real lives. She’s got it all down: work, home, marriage. Hochschild opens her book with the iconic advertising image of a together and perfect supermom with the “flying hair,” briefcase in one hand, baby in the other. ![]() Hochschild’s findings were clear and familiar to many women: when they get home from work, many women with children work a “second shift” of domestic and child care responsibilities. Does the Second Shift still apply? I’m re-reading Arlie Hochschild’s 1989 classic in preparing a syllabus for a course on 21st Century feminism. ![]()
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